If the relationship was not safe

2 min read

If your ex controlled, frightened, threatened or hurt you, staying away is not just self-care. It may be part of staying safe. Feeling sad or drawn to them does not mean it was not abuse. Confusion and longing are common after unsafe relationships.

You do not have to handle this alone. Reach out to a local domestic violence service or a trusted person. In an emergency, call your emergency number. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233; in the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. You can find help lines for many countries at findahelpline.com.

If your ex is contacting you in a way that scares you, keep the messages, tell someone you trust, and consider getting advice about protection options where you live.

You did not cause this. You deserve to be safe.