Riding out an urge in two minutes

2 min read

An urge to reach out behaves like a wave. It rises, peaks, and falls, usually inside twenty minutes and often much less. You cannot stop a wave, but you do not have to act on it.

Start by naming it: “This is the urge to text them.” That small step puts a bit of distance between you and it. Then slow your breathing: in for four, hold for four, out for six. Longer exhales calm your body.

Read your reasons. They were written by the version of you who could see clearly. Then write the message you want to send in a note and leave it there. Finally, move: stand up, walk, wash your face. Ten minutes later, check the urge again. It has almost always shrunk.